Return

Me and my mom have been through a lot of turmoil lately. She just lost a brother in a tragic way, but in losing him I think she's finding herself again. Fat man is gone for a while and its doing me and her so much good. We're talking again for the first time in a long time. I have missed her so much and these days together is making me see what life would've been like if fat man hadn't ever came, how much closer we'd be, and its sad. I am just hoping that things stay good like this. We're planning a great mother's day and its so filling to have her back. I've missed having a mom.

Mingling Metaphores

I'm looking up at the stars as my fingers fly over these keys like the many soft strumming's across a guitar's strings, or the fleeting wings of a hummingbird. I create a beautiful picture in my mind, but right now I feel like I'm in a limbo. I'm caught in a trap between the rest of my life and what is going on now. I can't wait for May to be here and the last month of high school to be in progress so I can get it behind me. I want to know about my scholarships and how I'm going to pay for my college, and I need to know that my life will work itself out. Its all so messy and not in the best way. A close friend was complaining today about petty things, I listened to her and I felt bad for her, but it also made me realize how abnormal my life is compared to others. The bad things in my life are so much more monumental then the average complaints of my generation and it can make me so sad, but it also makes me that much stronger and more willing to fight. Life will only be great if you make it so and surround yourself with people who care and people who inspire you and make the world a better place.

greatness

So many wonderous events are about to unfold
senior ball
graduation
disney land
college
u2 concert in canada

its all so unreal. we are getting caps and gowns tomorrow and by friday we have to submit our senior ball form. when did that happen to us?! when did we become those adult people about to embark on the next chapter of our lives? i'm so excited and happy that its here and completely anxious for it to arrive. the future is so bright and happy, much better than the murky darkness that occupies my life here. as i write mom is fighting with fat man, and i'm so ready to get away, escape this world. I need something good to happen and i know there will be some right around the corner. thank god or whoever pulls the strings of life. I'm ready for it all to begin.

What I Do

I wish
I hope
I dream

I plot
I think
I read

I watch
I learn
I want

I work
I yearn
I never stop

Because a life worth living means never giving up

What do you do?

Confirmed

I just confirmed my admission to the University of Washington. I am so scared now. I love that school and I know its where I need and want to be, but I can't afford it at all. I need so much money to pay for the tuition, but I know it'll be worth it. I just hope that I can find a way.